Frequently Asked Questions

Simply put, counselling is professional support to help you with your problems. Often, people seek support when struggling with a big life event such as a bereavement or illness, whether this be recent or something that you’ve been carrying for a long time. But equally, things can just be “off”, and you might be having strong feelings or reactions to what’s going on in your life, and can’t quite work out why.

Sometimes we can all try to manage by just getting on with things, but there can often come a point where you feel your usual coping strategies are no longer working, or that it might be better to talk to someone impartial, not a friend or family member. There is no shame in saying you need support with whatever is going on for you - everyone needs help sometimes and this is where counselling can come in.

Psychodynamic counselling can help you understand how your past may have shaped how you think, feel and behave now.  Some of the effects of our experiences and relationships can be buried and not actively thought about - in counselling terms, unconsious thoughts and feelings - but still affect you and how you react now.

Psychodynamic counselling explores these patterns with curiosity and empathy, not judgement. Specifically, but not exclusively, this form of counselling can support people with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, repeated difficulties in relationships, loneliness, anger issues or harmful habits including eating disorders.  In the case of bereavement, illness or other difficult event, although counselling provides a space where you can work through your feelings about what’s happened, we would also likely try to think about them in the context of your personal history.  Particularly in times of stress, your unconscious processes can take over and this can make it even more difficult to grieve or cope with what’s happening for you – something that we can think about and explore together.

Over time, counselling can help you feel less stuck, improve self-esteem and enable you to respond differently to difficult situations.

As a first step, I can offer you a brief no-obligation chat on the phone, during which you can ask me any initial questions you have about counselling and how I work. I will also ask you a few things about why you’ve decided to look into counselling now. To get in touch with me, please click on the Contact button below, or email me at info@frandawelane.co.uk.

Once you’ve decided to go ahead with a first meeting - which can either be in-person or online - I will send you a couple of forms to fill in, one requesting brief personal details and also typically a brief questionnaire, which is helpful to give me a picture of how you’re feeling at the moment.

Once you’ve sent these back, I will suggest a time to meet. Usually, sessions would be once a week, on the same day at the same time. I’ll send you details of what to do when you get to The Practice Rooms where I work in person, or send you information about how we will work online if that’s the method you prefer.

We would then normally have 3-4 initial meetings to see how we both feel about working together, after which I give you an information sheet for you to sign, giving consent to the terms of our counselling relationship. Sometimes I may not be able to work, or continue working, with a client, for example if I become aware of a conflict of interests.  If this is the case, I will let you know at the earliest opportunity and make sure I try to give you an appropriate referral elsewhere.

Our initial meetings are likely to feel more structured than a “typical” session. I will be asking you various questions to get a sense of why you’ve sought counselling now, your hopes for the process, your background (early life, family, relationships, work and so on) and your current situation. This is not to make any diagnosis - this is not part of the counselling process - but to help me begin to get a sense of you, your formative experiences and what we may need to think about together in our work. Every counselling journey is as individual as you are.

It is very important for you to work with someone you can trust and feel you can be open with, in order to benefit from the process - the therapeutic connection between us is key. Counselling takes time and can be a big investment, and things can often feel worse before they feel better, as it uncovers things that you may have tried to avoid or have hidden away. It can take time to build up this trust, but we will also think together in these initial sessions about whether or not you feel I’m the right fit for you and whether you would like to continue counselling with me.

Once we have done 3-4 trial sessions and decided to work together, a typical session would be led by you from the start, allowing you to speak freely about whatever is on your mind. This can feel quite disconcerting or difficult at times, but is very important as it allows you to bring whatever you need to without being guided by me, and without the normal social niceties that can hamper openness.

We will work using what is called “free association”, which just means the principle that whatever you share with me is important - down to fleeting thoughts, feelings, memories - even if it seems irrelevant. There is meaning to be found in whatever you bring. You might want to talk about any dreams you remember in our sessions, which can also help illuminate things hidden deeply in your mind.

We will also often look at what is happening between us “in the room”, part of the style of psychodynamic counselling. This is based on the idea that our relationship will in some ways recreate elements of those in your outside life, and can therefore be explored to help you understand your patterns of relating to others - this is called transference.

In terms of practicalities, we will typically be in the same room / online for a regular 50-minute session at the same time, same day each week, bar scheduled breaks which I tend to take at Christmas, Easter and in August.

There are many different styles of counselling and therapy, some of which are more practically-focused such as CBT. Psychodynamic counselling will not give you specific coping strategies or practical behavioural skills. Instead, it aims to explore and understand the “why”, in order to go more deeply into your inner world and help you make change. We do this by being curious about your past and trying to see the strands that link all your past experiences and relationships with how you see the world now, and what this means for how you cope with life and relationships in the present.

In a word, yes. I only work on a weekly basis, and offer sessions throughout the year bar 3 regular breaks during the year, which are usually for 2-3 weeks at a time at Christmas, Easter and during the summer.

Although it might feel like a fortnightly session - or even a longer gap between sessions - would be easier or more manageable, the continuity of having a session each week is an important part of the therapeutic process. It helps keep the connection open between us and enables us to speak about things as they happen, as well as offering a reliable, steady and supportive place for you each week where deeper issues can be explored. Longer gaps can stall progress and mean it takes longer to get back into the work each time. Conversely, the weekly space between the sessions can also be helpful, allowing time for memories, thoughts and feelings to come up which can be brought to our next session. Some people like to journal or make notes during the week, which can be helpful in supporting you between sessions.

Psychodynamic counselling is not a quick fix.  It often takes time, and I work in an open-ended way – this allows you the space to understand and work through painful or difficult feelings at your own pace.  As such, every counselling journey will take its own time - sometimes months, sometimes years. As a rule of thumb, however, working through a problem or issue that has been present for many years is likely to mean that a longer therapeutic process may be needed.

Sometimes things can feel like they’re too difficult and you may want to end counselling - I would always encourage you to speak to me about this and we can think about it together. Practically speaking, you are free to end counselling at any time. However, I would always try to offer you the opportunity to work towards a mutually agreed ending on a specified date - this enables us to have a more managed and thoughtful ending process, as you move away from the counselling relationship.